I think I’d probably changed about 14 diapers that day already, cleaned up a boatload of messes, washed (and maybe forgotten to put in the dryer) a few loads of laundry, when Jesus began to speak to my heart. Ever so kindly. It’s that still quiet voice that you hear people talk about. Not audible… just like, the words popped into my head and I knew it was Him. He said, “Be the Worship Leader of your home.”
I’d been a worship leader for years. God knew more than anyone how I’d poured my heart out into music, crafting my skill, taking any and almost every opportunity I could, to be ministering through music. But then, well a different calling began to take the driver’s seat in my life. The calling of being Mom. A shift was happening, and I didn't quite know if I liked it or not. I had 3 kids in 3 ½ yrs. This wasn’t a surprise. It was what I wanted, and had somewhat planned for. And I absolutely adore my kids and being their mom. However, what I didn’t take into account, was the amount of mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion involved in being fully invested into my children AND being a wife, musician, worship leader, maid, cook, taxi driver, minister, etc. I had to start saying no to opportunities at times. I came to grips with the humbling fact that, surprisingly, I do NOT have superpowers (gasp)! And then, the opportunities were not being handed my way quite as frequently. I felt a little trapped and discouraged. And to be honest, I really began to struggle with my identity. Was I no longer a musician? No longer a worship leader? Was that just a season of my life? And now I am Mom and only Mom?
That’s when I heard Him speak those words, “Be the worship leader of your home.” It was profoundly clear. I can’t say everything changed in that instant. But what I can say is that my perspective shifted. I saw how things like doing the dishes could be “worship”. Playing with my kids could be “worship”. Getting out with other families could be “worship”! What needed to be learned in my life was that worship is not just music. And being a “Worship Leader” doesn’t only apply to the band or the congregation. Yes, I have been able to lead worship (in song) again! God has blessed me beyond measure in that way. But I’ve also learned that anything in my life, if I’m doing it for Him, unto Him, and in honor of Him, IS WORSHIP.
